Thanksgiving Thought - Gratitude for Awakening Light

In dealing with and working on your difficult mental and emotional stuff, always remember that the dark cannot impose upon the light in you. Mental darkness has no being to it, for it is only the mental argument of absence, not the actual presence of absence! The light is always present; it can’t go anywhere, it can’t go away, because illumination is the very essence of natural mind itself.

Even when we feel overwhelmed by mental darkness, the ever-presence of light means there is always the possibility to stop and step back and to see clearly what's going on—that’s called awakening!  Instead of being lost in self-identification with some suffering sense of self, when we remember to be present and pay attention, we immediately gain a larger perspective. We gain freeing insight into the self-feeling, self-thought of being overwhelmed by "my" pain, "my" sorrow, "my" suffering. The light breaks the "self" illusion, giving us rays of hope.

Well, who or what is able to have such a remarkable, freeing perspective, such awakening awareness, except a mind informed by light itself?  If it was all darkness within us, we wouldn’t even know suffering as suffering!  We wouldn’t even have the feeling or thought, “I’m overwhelmed by my pain, my sorrow, my suffering.”  We would just suffer dumbly, forever in ignorance of any other possibility.

The ability to see, to have perspective, to step back, to come back to our center, indicates our native ability to awaken. That’s the light!  It's always present. Nothing can take that awakening capacity from us; it’s just built in to the very nature of consciousness itself. Even the impetus to wake up comes from that native light of mind. We are never really alone; we companion with the light, always.

So, remember, when doing deep self-investigation, it is the awakening light, not mental darkness, that always has the upper hand and last word.  Light leads the way when we look within ourselves seeking to discern the causes of suffering. Light means attention and paying attention. But it’s more, for coming back to our anchor, the breath, and paying attention, we come to know light as a power and a living presence. This awakening light is not passive!  It enlivens us.  It's not a thought, but it is mind.  It's not a feeling, though we feel it.  The awakening light dispels the darkness of fear, pain, sorrow. Light is life!

Sometimes our simple waking up to the light within us removes the dark without process or mental argument or struggle. Other times, we may have to very consciously and mindfully shine the spotlight onto the whatever is dark and hidden, and we have to courageously persist. In either case, never forget that light always remains victorious in itself, is never defeated, and the darkness never overcomes it.

Nothing can take this light from you. Look deeply, letting go of self, and you realize you are the light.  Our great life work is to awaken to that great truth and power. Aligning ourselves with light, loving the light, always remembering the light, holding fast to the light, we find this inner illumination is faithful, reliable, trustworthy. Mental storm clouds may hide it, even as clouds can hide sun, and at times we may despair.  But the original radiance of mind exists beyond all conditions and is always ours to have and to know.

Steven Goodheart

For more in-depth dharma articles and instruction, visit: METTA REFUGE

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The Difference between Self-pity and Compassion for Oneself

Even as indifference is the "near enemy" of equanimity,  and clinging is the "near enemy" of love, self-pity is the near enemy of genuine compassion for oneself.   Why?  Because self-pity―as hard as it may be to understand when we have been actually wronged or had a terrible life―*always* involves our own complicity with our sense of being a helpless victim.  Self-pity fosters an egocentricity that reifies our victimhood and solidifies our self-identification as mere pawns of others or of the universe.

Genuine compassion is a kind of "tough love,"  Genuine compassion has insight and wisdom.  It looks into the *entirety* of our suffering, shining light on *everything* ― not only the wrong that's been done to us and injustices, but also how we may have consciously and unconsciously participated in that victimization.  Genuine compassion uncovers how we may have internalized being helpless and seeing ourselves as victims for others to use (often, this occurs when we were children). Genuine compassion brings light to how we are now living out and re-enacting again and again that original victimization, covered over and justified by our self-pity.

That said, self-pity is *not* to be ignored or rejected or put down, but looked into!  It's so easy to say to oneself, or to say to another, "Grow up!  Get over your self-pity!"  But such admonitions simply reveal that the person saying them simply hates the self-pity in himself or herself and can't stand to see it in another!  How unkind and lacking in compassion our own secret hates and secret guilts can make us!

The deeper reading is that self-pity is not some "childish" self-indulgence that we must scorn into submission!  Self-pity is a screaming red signpost saying, "Trauma here!  Something to look into!"  Genuine compassion knows that self-pity is a defense mechanism that our minds figured out as a way of defending itself.  The problem is, self-pity greatly cripples our life and our ability to actually break free of the past and to do good in the present.  Self-pity thwarts essential self, essential self-expression, creativity and a joyous openness to life.

We all have moments and times of self-pity; that's just human.  But when self-pity has solidified into a *way of being* and a habitual way of interacting with the world and others, then this is something to look into, finally, with genuine compassion, with curiosity ― "What is this habitual self-pity all about?" — and with great courage of heart and patience.

However we get stuck in patterns of self-identification, the fact is that each of wants to be all that we can potentially be, without fear and with no need to justify our humanity and human failing to anyone.  All that ever matters is that we are working at becoming a full human being, and nobody can judge that or tell us how that should be.

For more in-depth dharma articles and instruction, visit: METTA REFUGE

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