Genuine compassion is a kind of "tough love," Genuine compassion has insight and wisdom. It looks into the *entirety* of our suffering, shining light on *everything* ― not only the wrong that's been done to us and injustices, but also how we may have consciously and unconsciously participated in that victimization. Genuine compassion uncovers how we may have internalized being helpless and seeing ourselves as victims for others to use (often, this occurs when we were children). Genuine compassion brings light to how we are now living out and re-enacting again and again that original victimization, covered over and justified by our self-pity.
The deeper reading is that self-pity is not some "childish" self-indulgence that we must scorn into submission! Self-pity is a screaming red signpost saying, "Trauma here! Something to look into!" Genuine compassion knows that self-pity is a defense mechanism that our minds figured out as a way of defending itself. The problem is, self-pity greatly cripples our life and our ability to actually break free of the past and to do good in the present. Self-pity thwarts essential self, essential self-expression, creativity and a joyous openness to life.
However we get stuck in patterns of self-identification, the fact is that each of wants to be all that we can potentially be, without fear and with no need to justify our humanity and human failing to anyone. All that ever matters is that we are working at becoming a full human being, and nobody can judge that or tell us how that should be.